Why I Will Not Wait

Freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed.

Martin Luther King Jr.

I was on Facebook debating whether Obama could over turn DADT, if he so chose – and to be clear – he does not so choose! Whether he can or can’t is a debate for legal scholars. Truman did it when he issued Executive Order 9981, which forever ended legal racial segregation within the ranks of the U.S. Armed Forces. Apparently, DADT is different.

These same people argue we have to be patient and work through the system. Reminds me of the time back in 2004 when Barney Frank opposed San Francisco legalizing same sex marriage, and suggested we wait for the issue to run its course in the courts. 5 years later, we are still waiting.

So, I wondered why would they argue that we wait?

• Stockholm Syndrome – the victim shows signs of loyalty to the oppressor, regardless of the danger or risk in which they have been placed. Captives begin to identify with their captors initially as a defensive mechanism, out of fear of violence. Small acts of kindness by the captor are magnified, since finding perspective in a hostage situation is by definition impossible.  The behavior is considered a common survival strategy for victims of interpersonal abuse, and has been observed in battered spouses,  abused children, prisoners of war, and concentration camp survivors.
• Homophobia – many believe they are not worthy of the rights enjoyed by their straight counterparts. Quick to point to leathermen and drag queens as “hurting” the cause because they don’t pass or somehow they might offend. Rather than embracing diversity, they attempt to conform to some Disney version of acceptable norms.
• Inevitability – These rights will eventually be granted, so why make a fuss now? Why risk offending people? We’ve waited 40 years – assuming your consider Stonewall a launching off point – what’s a few more years?
• Vested Interest – If our adversaries go away, then we don’t need huge organizations with fundraising campaigns and Galas and Executive Directors. Every time Fred Phelps or Maggie Gallagher opens their mouth, someone writes a check – why kill the cash cow?

Some may say that overturning Don’t Ask Don’t Tell or providing any rights denied LGBT people should wait due to the pressing matters of the economy, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, corporate bailouts, or the outcome of whether a beauty queen keeps her crown. Then what? There will always be some pressing issue that justifies continuing denying equality to LGBT constituents. Some current event that forever says “not now, just be patient.”

Make no mistake, the election cycle will begin to ramp up shortly along with campaign asks. They’ll ask for your money. They make promises. When they ask you for money – and they will – ask them specifically what they’ve done to advance equality for all. Don’t accept platitudes, ask for concrete examples. And while I am not suggesting that LGBT equality be the only issue of consideration when supporting a candidate – it better be at the top of your list.

And for the record – I am not a patient man.

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